Church Farm Ardeley

A Free Range Experience

The Paradoxical Butcher and the Paramedics

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???????????????????????????????At Church Farm there is rarely a day without incident of some kind or another but even by our standards Monday 9th February was pretty unique.

Chicken Dave was off to see the Chickens when he came face to face with an Ambulance and the J Team of Paramedics, Jenny and Jo.

It turned out that someone had been taken ill somewhere out on the Farm and had called 999, a walker somewhere amongst the 175 acres of glorious countryside that encompasses the Farm including public byways and bridleways.

The weather has been bad and the mud meant the Ambulance would not be able to get any closer than the car park.

Fear not, for around the corner in the Four by Four Barbarian came our hero, Will the Paradoxical Butcher.

Why Paradoxical?  Well Will keeps Chickens and Ducks for a hobby and by day he ……well, he is a butcher.

With the word Squitmore ringing in our ears we clambered aboard and set off in search of the wounded walker.  Who could it be?  One of the staff? One of the members of the school group on site?  One of the co-farmers or interns?

One of the walkers Chicken Dave had spoken too that very morning not twenty yards away from where the ambulance was parked, or someone else entirely?

Will is the paradoxical butcher who works in the shop and the butchery, Chicken Dave looks after the Chickens and rarely gets out of the Chicken Sheds so this was an adventure indeed.

Where is Squitmore asked Will the Paradoxical Butcher? Chicken Dave waved vaguely towards the area of the Farm covering perhaps a quarter or more of the Farm and we were off looking for an injured walker with nothing else to go on.

Byways and Bridleways on either side we headed off only for the 4×4 to be too wide for the path, Chicken Dave went on by foot leaving Jenny and Jo from the East of England Ambulance Service in the capable hands of Will The Paradoxical Butcher reversing down a muddy track.

The mobile phones set to work trying to get more information, Walkers from Walkern, Cabin number 8 and Rozelle and Charlotte joined in the search.  Cabin located and access by foot we found the Letchworth Arts and Leisure Group of walkers huddled around a Rhubarb expert!

The J Team set to work and Will slipped away to see if he could get over the fields to help save the day.

Initial tests done we started the fun to return to the ambulance from where we’d begun.

But what do I see coming now towards me

But a great big strong car

And a friendly butchar (Sorry)

He drove across mud,

Like the cows chewing cud,

And stopped for the crew

Who knew what to do.

We got in the car with the ambulance pack

While Chicken Dave got slung in the back.

So off we all went,

The drama near spent,

Plans had been made

And the patient relayed.

Just time to clean boots

On one or two foots!!!

And off to the Lister

To check for a Blister.

The Butcher returned to cutting the meat

But we will talk of this day and of this feat,

Of the Paradoxical Butcher and his time at the wheel,

To save this dear lady, his nerves made from steel.


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